And then there were these...

• A long rainy Sunday with DDLJ on the television
• The perfect shrug that goes with most office-unfriendly shirts
• The possibility of Goa. Yet again.
• Strawberry yogurt + Modern Family
• Knowing that work will be busier than ever
• Blasting ‘Switty Switty’ on random evenings
• Mommy’s perfected bread-pulao
• Finding that lost white shirt after an entire year
• Smell of a new book on my bedside stand
• Hugging the same old friends
• Big fat yearbook!
• Adu chatting with the fish in my room
• The snooze phenomena
• And...the waves in my hair

P.S. – I have dreaded and loved my ride back home for this entire Ganpati time. I love to see the beautifully lit city, the disco music blasting from within pandals or even right next to my cab. But I have underestimated my travel time, each time L

Will the rains really go away with the Raja ? Rains make September look pretty. I say stay till October at least...

I have no title...

When the prefect ends, what do we get?

Do we realise that it was not so perfect after all...

Do we try and be enthusiastic about the current not-so-perfect?

What is perfect anyway?

I used to think it’s a state of mind. But now I am convinced it’s a habit.

If I am relatively happy, and I stay that way for a fair amount of time, then I will probably call it perfect.

We are scared to let go of this perfect. Not because we won’t be happy again.

But may be because we are scared to invest the ‘habitual time’ in it, all over again!

I am happy today. Not jumpy happy. But ‘at peace’ happy.

So many things and so many people to be thanked for this.

Especially my stupid birthday :P

P.S. – That Girl in Yellow Boots out tomorrow. Disturbing yet a very interesting watch!

Hello :)

Am I the twisted one or just the lost one?

Am I the smart one or the naive one?

Am I cold or just plain scared?

Am I peaceful both inside and outside?

Am I sad to have lost or happy to have regained?

Am I so sulky that I don’t know how to smile?

Am I not as vanilla as I think I am?

Am I actually an impatient driver?

Am I even bothered by any of these questions?

I think not. But it is random food for thought. Keeps me entertained on days like these.

To be honest, I am not bothered by anyone’s perception. At least not bothered enough to action a change in behaviour.

I do feel. I do get hurt. I do like happiness. I sure am rude and blunt. And it’s all in good spirit. It’s how I am wired.

Trust we are good J

A Saturday after long...feels like a Sunday.

Crowded drives

Radio by the side

Light in the head

Smile on the face

Friends to meet

Talks to talk

News to share,

With hope in the heart.

Long felt hugs

Long seen smiles

Missed those days,

To be relived every now and then.

Skip. Reverse.

I just read the last few words on a friend’s blog ‘Being Replaceable’. Coincidently, I have been thinking about ‘being replaceable’ since last night. Funny I read it now.

I don’t know what it is about the word replaceable that makes me uncomfortable. In the retail sense of the term it’s supposed to be a good thing. However, in my mind, I feel it takes away the value of everything/everyone.

I don’t want anything to be replaceable. I like a sense of constance. Every important thing or person in our lives is theoretically irreplaceable. In reality, it may work out differently.  So let’s make a pact – to not replace things or people for the fun of it. That’s just mean. Why replace them first then cry about the memories. Fuck the memories. Enjoy the present continuous.

May you never be replaceable!

Swaaha

Hi !

I have a sudden urge to do the following things:

• Switch off my phone; sleep now; leave home in the morning; and use only the PCO to connect with those who need to know my whereabouts. Full 24 hours of pull approach as far as contacting me is concerned. No pushing, calling, or beeping!
• Watch 4 back-to-back films. I am in this business, and I have so much to catch up on, this particular month.
• Go to Anando Spa for a three day sojourn with a bum-chum.
• Read. Read. And read more...
• Behave with people the way they behave with other people. The sound of this is petty, but personal experience says – It works!
• By now, my urges don’t seem sudden or urgent at all. But I have a lot of pending thoughts in my head. So will mention them anyway.
• Yell out to some people to get a grip or get their fucking difficult self out of my life. Or more importantly, out of my mind. Which is more a call-to-action for me than anyone else I suppose.
• Play loud chhamiya music and dance all night. I love drunken dancing. It’s the best medicine for my mind and body, every once in a while.
• To smile more at my Parents and yell less at my Mom.
• To love who I want to anyway. Who cares what they think or want.

Swaaha for all of the above.

< Swaaha story some other time >

Kyu... ho gaya na

I wonder what it is that I strive to be in life.

Do I want to work so hard at my career that I look at myself as the Marketing Head of my department sometime ?

Or do I want to take it as it comes and not try and run the fastest in this rat race ?

I actually want to not care so much about my designation, get paid well, and yet be able to do what I want in the organisation. I know it sounds dreamy and perfect. But it’s far from perfect. I think I don't want the headache of a post. I don’t want to be answerable to a hundred humans because my post demands it. I want to be answerable to these humans only because my work demands it. And that work I think can also be done at a designation which does not impress any business card scanner ! This is only a thought. Might be completely flawed.

Just that I want to be able to have a life because MY work-life balance is good. Not, not have a life because my team’s work-life balance is screwed up.

I love to work. But I hate to centre my life around it. What I hate the most is being MADE to centre my life around it. And my fear is that with designation comes this ‘MADE’.

But then again, my perception is limited to the organisations I have experienced. The fact and opportunities might be completely different.

I also strive to be a nice happy family person. Not the sulky idealist my parents are making me out to be. They are 90% right when they say that is another thing altogether.

What I have to do to be able to smoothly enter the happy family phase of life is something I will figure out gradually I guess.

*One fun-fact about me which is not so fun  – When you ask me how I like whatever it is that you show to me, I always ask the possession details of the item. If you have already gone ahead and convinced yourself about it in the decisive sense by spending money on it, I will never bitch about that particular thing. This is one of the rare moments where my good self takes over my blunt self and I decide not to dishearten you. Silly but true. So next time remember – My opinion is redundant :)

Now back to thinking what Ankur rightly asked me today... Kyu ? I have been thinking that for a while. Kyu ? Why the fuck ?!