Hello World

Have a lot to say.

For starters, three characters – F, G, and 4, never gained so much significance in life. Put them together in that order and we get FG4. The single most important spectacle since graduation. What FG4 is, will interest few. So I will skip that part. Just needed to keep everyone abreast of my airtime consumption. Let’s just say this FG4 has walked all over quite a few of my movie plans, dinner plans, and just peaceful breathing plans. I hope it ends up being one hell of a job.

On another note, the other day I consumed my true love. Ate it all up. It resides in the menu of Theobroma Bandra, by the name of ‘Pesto Rosso’ and is by far the best pesto sandwich I have ever had. It’s simple – with the right amount of basil, sundried tomatoes, the freshest lettuce, some beauty of a red pesto sauce, and a gallop of cheese. With fries and mustard by its side, it was like yummy love.

In a perfect world, I would be watching DDLJ and eating this sandwich for the rest of my life.

However, I instead managed to eat with the rest of my family in the drawing room tonight. They were watching one of the fucked up family dramas on the TV. I shall save the name in the interest of the company that helped provide me with my aforementioned meal. The conversation started with how I never spend time with anyone, and just sit locked up in my room in front of my laptop. However, for the better or for the worse, the show started. I will tell you the content without the slightest ounce of exaggeration. There may be judgement in my words, but then, wtf. It started with the shot of one woman telling the other about how she should chill now because she has a daughter-in-law to do the housework. And in my head played Sunday afternoon – Agarwal Household. My taiji telling me to urgently learn my way around the kitchen, because I will be married soon and that’s what life will throw at me. A fucked up kitchen and a million hungry stomachs! Not to forget a mother-in-law fantasising retirement.

Cut to scene 2 – the husband was basically trying to get laid, but the wife wouldn’t understand. So he started with a general – let’s spend time together, followed by how much they loved each other, followed by how they don’t get time to really be ‘close’, followed by how he wants to prove his love for her, followed by how he wants her to feel that they are actually ‘one’, etc. etc. Get the drift. All this, in the typical hindi corny fucked up way, sitting in the drawing room with my parents and elders, was a little discomforting for me! I couldn’t laugh, or walk away, or watch, or anything. Two flowers meeting seemed like an ingenious concept right about then. And talk about my company producing this kind of entertainment, day in and day out. How do I even ask my people to stop wasting their time on this. Am I not worse than they are :(

In other news, I realised I like red apples more than green apples and I like green grapes more than black grapes. I also won the lamest quiz in the history of quizzes posted by a self-obsessed crack human being Buddy Boo.

Also, Ghetto will be Wanchu by the end of this month. Kunjorani will thrive on Bombay dosas for the next 4 months. And also, my life will be spelt as h-a-v-o-c very very soon.

Cheers to fg4.