Kyu... ho gaya na

I wonder what it is that I strive to be in life.

Do I want to work so hard at my career that I look at myself as the Marketing Head of my department sometime ?

Or do I want to take it as it comes and not try and run the fastest in this rat race ?

I actually want to not care so much about my designation, get paid well, and yet be able to do what I want in the organisation. I know it sounds dreamy and perfect. But it’s far from perfect. I think I don't want the headache of a post. I don’t want to be answerable to a hundred humans because my post demands it. I want to be answerable to these humans only because my work demands it. And that work I think can also be done at a designation which does not impress any business card scanner ! This is only a thought. Might be completely flawed.

Just that I want to be able to have a life because MY work-life balance is good. Not, not have a life because my team’s work-life balance is screwed up.

I love to work. But I hate to centre my life around it. What I hate the most is being MADE to centre my life around it. And my fear is that with designation comes this ‘MADE’.

But then again, my perception is limited to the organisations I have experienced. The fact and opportunities might be completely different.

I also strive to be a nice happy family person. Not the sulky idealist my parents are making me out to be. They are 90% right when they say that is another thing altogether.

What I have to do to be able to smoothly enter the happy family phase of life is something I will figure out gradually I guess.

*One fun-fact about me which is not so fun  – When you ask me how I like whatever it is that you show to me, I always ask the possession details of the item. If you have already gone ahead and convinced yourself about it in the decisive sense by spending money on it, I will never bitch about that particular thing. This is one of the rare moments where my good self takes over my blunt self and I decide not to dishearten you. Silly but true. So next time remember – My opinion is redundant :)

Now back to thinking what Ankur rightly asked me today... Kyu ? I have been thinking that for a while. Kyu ? Why the fuck ?!