Resolutions 2.0

This file is titled 2.0 because I want to miss the step of fucking up my initial Utopian plan and jump straight to the achievable one. The idea to share these silly things here is that in some twisted way I would feel more accountability towards accomplishing them. Or some of them.

I don’t know if resolutions are supposed to be of a fixed kind. I have never consciously thought about making one. However, the first day of the new decade gave me some hints. Hints that were staring at me in my face. Hints that said, I could easily improve a lot many aspects of my life. Very simply so.

Here I go:

1.       I will sit up straight at all times, so that in future, my backbone doesn’t try to make love to my knees.

2.       I will have a massive VETO over my tear glands. They will not be allowed to trip on their own.

3.       I will learn to be kind to my Mommy. Even if she nags me all day long. I nagged her for 9 whole months!

4.       I will restrain from fighting with Auto guys.  Will resort to direct slaps.

5.       I will not believe what I want to believe. I will say hello to Mr. Reality more often.

6.       I will love beer a little less, and love my belly a little more.

7.       I will stop cleaning random spaces. Or random peoples’ spaces.

8.       I will hide my credit and debit card in the most unapproachable drawer for 364 days of the year.

9.       I will not mock everything Madu.

10.   I will learn the Stock Market and its workings.

All the above points come with a prefix of try. However, I will genuinely seriously try.

Thanks everyone for all your mean words and your irritated looks. It helped ruin my 2010, and will hopefully help make my 2011.

A la prochaine